Talkin’ Tyra

Posted by lena on Oct 19, 2009 in News | 0 comments

Part-trash talker, part- smarter sister, part-model, part-entrepreneur Tyra Banks has gone from supermodel to super TV star who is pulling in a reported 30 million big ones a year.
And while moving her show to network TV this year from syndication hasn’t upped her viewership all that much (1.4 million viewers last year to 1.5 million this year), it doesn’t matter. Those viewers are smart, young females that advertisers covet like Don Draper covets a nice shot of scotch.
So, I decided to watch for a week to see if her magic would work on me, as well. Of course, I didn’t realize that the week I’d chosen to devote to “The Tyra Show” would be the week she was going to make TV poop history, but more about that later.
Tyra works so well as a TV daytime talk-show host because she easily moves between street talk and the most articulate person you’ll ever run across, with topics that range from domestic abuse to poop. Literally.
Clearly, there’s no topic she won’t cover. “Women who beat their men” is as likely a topic as breast cancer, makeovers and celebrity interviews.
I’ll tell you that from watching the show I have learned life-altering things like how not dress too young, whether or not people can be born with a “cheating” gene (detailed by an “astrosexologist”); how to know if I’m giving birth even if I didn’t know I was pregnant; what to do with kids who won’t stop cursing; how to deal with friends who eat their toenails, pick their noses or only want to talk about poop.
I was feeling like a complete person with all this new-found knowledge and ready to bring up some of these topics at the next cocktail party I attended — until last Friday.
That’s when the always-surprising Tyra made me realize that I don’t, in fact, know everything, or anything really, about, yes, poop removal.
Shocking? Yes. Surprising? No.
Friday’s show featured the first-ever, on-air live colonic wherein a woman had her colon cleaned out in front of the live audience while Tyra explained in her fanciest medical-ese that a colonic is when a hyrdotherapist “sticks this tube in your booty and sucks the poop outta you!”
While the volunteer (some people will do anything to be on TV) was having the procedure done (she had a hole cut in her pants so she didn’t have to get naked), Tyra did a blow-by-blow commentary saying things, like, “I don’t see any chocolate yet!”
Now that’s entertainment.
And it was, if not entertaining, then at least bizarrely fascinating. I don’t want to imagine how she tops it, though.
source: nypost.com